Lions Ineptitude Part 3 of 3

Editor's Note: The Lions didn't actually win the Super Bowl, they were celebrating winning the right to HOST it.

We put this dog to rest with the final installment of "Lions Ineptitude." I was a little torn as to where to go with this part, but I think the most illuminating endeavor would be to compare them to other franchises with a record of futility so we can properly put the Lions in perspective.

First let's look at other NFL teams. As I said in my previous entry, the Lions famously have won one playoff game since 1957. Does anyone come close to that?

Surprisingly, one team does: The Arizona(or Phoenix or St. Louis or Chicago) Cardinals: They, like the Lions, won NFL championships before it became The Super Bowl (in 1925 and 1947), and they, like the Lions, have won one playoff game since (in 1988). Lions fans can breathe a sigh of relief, because the Cardinals are right there with the Lions in regards to futility. Ironically enough, they have also been owned by the same family for a long time, in this case since FDR's first term. Who else is in the "class" of the Lions and Cardinals? Let's take a brief look at some of the other "contenders."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: considered a bumbling franchise for their 0-14 season (worst in NFL history), they've actually won a Super Bowl and 6 playoff games in their short existence, which is 4 more than the Cardinals, and only one less than the Lions, who had a 50 year head start.

New Orleans A'ints: One playoff victory since the 50's, just like the Lions. You can make a strong argument that they are just as bad as the Lions and Cardinals, but since they were an expansion team and started their "streak" a decade later, I'm not convinced they are in the same class.

Buffalo Bills: Ah, the Bills. They make this list only because of their amazing 4 year Super Bowl losing streak in the early 90's. While grueling for their fans, I have trouble indicting a franchise that assembled the talent necessary to win the AFC 4 years in a row.

New York Jets: Mostly horrible recently, however, the memories of Broadway Joe (before his little Suzy Kolber moment) have to keep them out of "elite loser" status.

Cleveland Browns: We have a winner. The Cleveland Browns are the Detroit Lions doppleganger. Amazingly, the Cleveland Browns have won 8 championships in their history, which is more than the 49ers. They actually met the Lions in the 1950's 4 times in the championship game. If you can find someone who has made no new long-term memories since 1957, he'll think that the Lions and the Browns are the two best teams in the NFL. The Browns have since won more playoff games than the Lions, but they've also lost three years in a row to John Elway, been moved, reborn as an expansion team, and suffered a series of unfortunate ,events.

So, there you have it, Lions fans. You have won only one playoff game since 1957, yet there are plenty of teams who suffered in comparable ways. The Lions haven't lost 4 Super Bowls in a row, they haven't been moved, they haven't been crushed year in and year out by John Elway, they haven't gone 0-14 in a season (although they have gone 0-11 and 2-14), and they don't have a degrading yet accurate nickname such as the "A'ints." So we are left with the cliched question: was it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? Was it better to be stumbling around in mediocrity while the Browns and Bills were winning more games but getting their hearts crushed in January? Would you rather have made it to the Super Bowl in 1986, but had a Bill Buckner moment?

I cannot speak for all Lions fans, but I can say this: as sports fans, we love to talk. We love to talk trash, we love to complain about our team: there's a reason "sports talk radio" is a multi-million dollar business. And lately, the Lions have given no one anything to talk about, except about how Matt Millen should be fired. The Lions have won 21 games since 9/11. The Lions have lost 62 games since then. I challenge you, Red Sox, Cubs, Browns or Bills fans: would you trade any 5 year stretch for that? Would you want to get excited for a football season, be removed from playoff contention by Thanksgiving, and start making a mock draft while Christmas shopping? I hardly think so.

We have a lot of pride in Detroit, and I think we can all take pride in that we have suffered more in the last 5 years, hell, 39 years than any other NFL city, and we are still here today. We still anxiously await the draft months in advance. We still look at the schedule every spring and try to predict which games we are going to win. And we still laugh at that one reporter who picks this season as the one in which the Lions break out and win the division. (Thanks, Peter King!) Let's just watch the Lions with a bit of detachment, and not expect a Super Bowl run any time soon. Remember, in the year 2006, the Detroit Pistons, the Detroit Red Wings, and the Detroit Tigers all have had the best records in their respective sports. Let's not get too greedy. Or more accurately, let's not be insane.