The Strokes: First Impressions of Earth (CD REVIEW)

I think it is now completely safe to say that The Strokes are officially un-cool. Sure there are some late-blooming hipsters with their Camel Cigarettes and ass-tight Levi 501's (Macaulay Culkin included) who may claim otherwise, but as a keen observer and critic of the soul-less hipster universe, I'm quite sure the Strokes have been relegated to the same hipster shitbowl that is home to the Vines and other bands of the early 00's rock revival. Whereas their first album, Is This It, sounded like nothing the fledgling rock hipster had ever heard, unless of course they had listened to the Velvet Underground, Television, or had stumbled upon the Nuggets Box Set, they've since failed to expand upon their sound, despite being a band that actually makes good music--albeit derivative music. Unlike their early touring buddies, The White Stripes, who have made artistic strides, and movements into other musical genres as they've progressed, the Strokes first three albums can simply be seen as extensions of themselves, with no new territory being explored. On their latest disc, First Impressions of Earth (a terrible title by the way), the listener may notice some subtle changes--Albert Hammond Jr's guitars seem to swirl and bounce a bit more, and singer, Julian Casablancas seems more relaxed and bold, but really it is nothing more than an extension of 2003's Room on Fire, which of course was just an extension of 2001's Is This It.
The first track, "You Only Live Once" sounds like the Cars sans keyboards, and on the first single, "Juicebox," singer Julian Casablancas apes Cake frontman John McCrea's sing-speak so well during the verses (which is something Casablancas should certainly be embarrassed of) that I actually thought it was Cake when I first heard the song. "Ask Me Anything," a buzzing synth ballad, is one of the stronger tracks on the album, but sounds like something straight off Lou Reed's Transformer. Two of the few standout tracks on the album, are "Razorblade" and "Heart in a Cage," which sounds somewhat like battle scene music from a Nintendo game, and that's a good thing, because the majority of the album is completely ineffectual. The problem with sounding derivative, and on top of that, not striving to find someone else obscure or forgotten to emulate, is that eventually it will catch up to you, and you will sound tired and boring, which is exactly what First Impressions of Earth is. The album plods and wanes, as Casablancas' vocals mumble and moan, and Drummer, Fabrizio Moretti's ticky-tack robo-stomp drumming eventually begins to lose its catch. Essentially, First Impressions of Earth can be seen as the former hipster kings last gasp--one that few outside of the sincerely devoted will likely care to hear.

2.5 stars